How not hurting people can be so funny

I had to take a 2 day course for my job a couple of weekends back. The technical name is Non-Violent Crisis Prevention. Basically it is a way to not get hurt when some person decides they really really want to hurt you. After a bunch of hooey about respecting people's boundries and the stages people go through when they get pissy we got down to the fun part of attacking each other and trying to avoid being hurt.

My instructor said when being attacked or grabbed it is always a good idea to shout "boo!" or something loudly at your attacker to confuse and surprise them. I decided to take a different tactic for this.

I was in a front choke hold and I casually throw my hand across my partners face and say "These are not the droids you are looking for" I then proceed to start laughing like a loon. My instructor was not impressed and told me how, in exact detail, that would not work.
I then, in another choke hold, decided to narrate what i was doing.
"I lift my shoulders! I throw up my arms! I twist and get out!"
My instructor was not amused at this either.

We then had to role play some scenarios. As I have a hard time being serious in this kinda shit, i chose not to be one of the actors in this high school remeniscent drama.
I watched as a lovely girl (who was playing the role of a mentally disabled girl) decided to start shouting :"I am having an incident!"
The other player (also representing a mentally disabled person) shouted louder :"I am having an incident too!"
She replies :"My incident is bigger than yours!"
"No it's not!" he screamed "I have bigger incidents than you do all the time!"

By this time I am laughing so unbelievably hard that i could barely breathe. I mean snot running down my face and pee running down my leg laughing.
The instructor derided me for not taking this seriously. Still, I could not stop laughing.
"What is so funny about this?" She asks me.
"I have never seen anyone announce they were going ot have an incident. They pretty much just start with one."
"Well you have to be prepared for all scenarios" she says.

Really? Really? I never thought that working with disabled people I would need to be prepared for odd things to happen! Thank you so much for telling me something i managed to figure out in the first 10 minutes of my very first shift.

All in all, this course was pretty okay. Boring as worm spit, but the part where i got to man handle the wonderful piece of man meat i was partnered with was nice.

I have learned valuable lessons through that experience though:
-most people do not have a sense of humour
-my sense of humour seems to be walking a fine line between insanity and genuis
-when in a situation where i am having a punch thrown at my face, I dont think i am going to be able to stop. Think about my CPI training. Then act. I am pretty sure I will take the hit.

Then i will cry and go on disability. Which would be irony.