You know what your problem is?

"You know what your problem is?"

Gosh no! How about you tell me!
Because I trust your opinion?
No wait, thats not right, because i really, really don't.
Why dont you tell me because we are such good friends?
Oh wait, thats right, I cant stand you!
Hmmm, how about i listen because you actually know me, and know what you are talking about?
ummm, yeah. Thats not quite right either. Because if you were my friend, if you knew me, you would know first off:
This phrase is annoying as hell
and i just LOVE to hear how much i suck from a person who cant even keep their own life together.

This past week has been "Tell M 'what her problem is' week"
Here's some of the winners:

-i am too detached emotionally (the ex boyfriend who shall now be known as "Cheater McFucknut")
-i am too clingy (the current squeeze)

-I am a big fat liar
-I am too blunt with how i tell the truth

-i say inappropriate things
-i dont let my feelings be known

are we catching a theme here?? Cuz i am thinking, no matter what i do, someone is going to have a problem with me.
I know what my faults are. I have been living my life for 27 years now. I am pretty sure I have a grasp on what i am good at and what i am bad at. I know i am opinionated, abrasive, annoying, loud, talkative, bitchy and super uncomfortable in social situations. But you know what? Tell me again! I love to hear it!
Let's ignore all my good points. I dare you! It is so much easier to tell me the bad shit.


You know what i say to those people who felt that they just had to tell me what my problem is??

Screw you.

Chances are, i dont like you very much anyway and dont give a rats ass about your opinion.
What exactly did you hope to accomplish by informing me of my failings?
That you are soooooo much better than i? That you would be akin to a GOD if you could fix my imperfections and would be crowned King High Pooh-Bah of all that is Terrific and Shiny?

How about, the next time you feel like telling me what MY problem is, you stop and ask your self.........
"Has this ever worked?
Have I ever, EVER told anyone what their problem is and have it changed?
NO! So what on earth makes me think that what i have to say will make any difference?
Perhaps this doesnt work!"

You know what YOUR problem is?
You suck.
No one wants to hear pseudo-psychoanalyisis from a weinie who can't even keep their own life in order.

And that is what your problem is.