I'll tell you where to put that pineapple!

So I work at a chain restaurant, still fairly small but its growing. My official title is "Fruiter". Swear to God. I am trying out other titles so if anyone has suggestions, please feel free to offer them.

There is me, N, Maggie-may, T and Sam. First off i am going to say that i love maggie-may and sam. they are awesome. Maggie-may is an older married lady who is just getting back into the workforce and is very quiet and unassuming. Sam just rocks. T is slow and anoying but that i can live with.

My problem is with N.

She is an ass-kisser. And the worst kind. She goes out of her way to get others into trouble to make herself look better. Which i wouldnt mind so much because she really DOES need to look better! She is not god at her job at all.
What bothers me is she tried to get maggie-may into trouble. This nice, sweet quiet woman who wouldnt say "Shit" if her mouth was full of it.

I have debated certain types of revenge to inact on this harpy. So far i have come up with a lot, but they all involved me getting arrested afterwards.

I hate it when people pick on the quiet ones. maggie-may is a doll! And for N to try to get her into shit just makes me want to turn green, burst out of my clothes and go Grindhouse on her.

I am finding it odd that an old flame of mine came out of the woodwork this week. He called me last night and wants me to go visit. Normally my ex's stay ex's. For good reason. I am freaking nuts. Hence them being ex's. :P But this one actually still finds me amusing. I think he has been sniffing glue. The good kind not that shit we had when we were kids. You remember the elephant kind? That looked like honey and came with the shitty red slanty top? Where you would have to jam a pencil in there to try to make the glue come out?
Yeah, not that kind.

Thing # 5 I wanted to say but didnt:

N: Oh Annie! I never noticed you cut it that way before!
Me: Well, its kinda hard to see anything with your head that far up her ass.

On the brightside, I got really pissed at N and threw a container of fruit at her. I should probably work on my interpersonal skills. I am pretty sure fruit container throwing is not on the list of acceptable reactions to a situation.