Insomnia rant #2

So here it is at 1:42 in the freaking morning. I have napped all day because it was hot and i was bored, so now i must pay for it. I have laid (or is it lied?) in bed for the past 3 hours trying to sleep. Normally in these situations i have little scenarios i play in my mind. I am a chronic insomniac so it has become almost ritualistic. Like killing a goat but less messy.
So many things have occured to me during this time of introspection:

-I am 28 yrs old and alone. I have no prospects for any relationship in the forseeable future and if history holds true, even if i did, i would somehow manage to mess them up. Its either genetic or a god given talent. Too bad I cant put that on a resume.

-Cheater McFucknuts left me 5 months ago. It still kinda feels like yesterday. Without te crying and the immense amount of snot caked tissues lying (or is it laying?) around.

-He has been with his new twinkie for 5 months also. And here I am typing away on a half rate laptop wondering when the fuck will i get to sleep. I have heard many of my wonderful friends (Brooke, Jon, Jen, you guys are awesome) telling me that this relationship of his could not possibly be healthy and will eventually blow up in his face. One can only hope it rips off his eyebrows. But I have my suspicions that it will work out for them. I mean, she is a whore and he is co-dependant. If Pretty Woman taught us nothing it was that whores and co dependancy make for a greta movie. Since we didnt get to see the aftermath of that relationship, i can only guess that it went well.

-my ceiling has a lot of cracks in it

-all the skin is peeling off my hands from my brief interval at Cora's. It is tres sexy.

-I am really freaking tired. And depressed. It seems i am always depressed right now. I was griping to Jon earlier that this year ha snot been a good one for me and i cannot think of a single great thing that has happened for or to me in the past 6 months. He said "well at leats it hasnt gotten worse". Which is true, but dammit! I need something good to happen soon.

-I bought a lotto 6/49 ticket. I imagined what i would do with the earnings again.

-why is it i can never find tape in this house except on the bottom of my sock/foot?

- it is too hot to be this contemplative.