Nostalgia

Since the sun is a ball of fire
And the moon is proportedly made out of cheese (green at that)
Would that not be one hell of a great fondue party?


I am going back home for the weekend. I cannot possibly express how damn excited I am about this. London has been so disgustingly hot that if Jesus' grandmother were alive, she would be wearing a thong bikini.
It doesnt help that my entire road is under construction so there is dust everywhere.

-Has anyone actually played the correct rules for monopoly? Anyone?

-I miss hungry hungry hippos. It was during a time when little girls were unconcerned about their weight. It encouraged the bingeing and purging of marbles. If we learn and are influenced so much from tv/radio/games as children, how has marble bulimia not caught on?

-Clue was fun. You got told whether or not you killed someone and then everyone tried to figure out who was the sociopath who hung Mrs. Scarlett in the library. I mean, aside from being a bordello matron, what did she ever do? The ages suggested for this game is like 8+. I was told during my Liberal Arts enlightenment that this is a time where morals are formed and crap. Being labelled not only a psychotic killer but also trying to elude the punishment for a horrific crime could not possibly be good for gentle minds. Screw Marilyn Manson, I blame Parker Brothers.

-Battleship is basically Nazi Germany in your livingroom. I am bored. I believe i shall try to sink as many warships and their passengers as possible. Their wives will get compensation! And their children will grow up to be afraid of water, snappy white suits and the HMS Pinafore. (which has got to be the most catchy and the most annoying musical about incest and shipping i have ever seen)

-snakes and ladders. My kid is, in grade one, being taught how to follow directions (north south etc.). Snakes and ladders does not help him with this as there seems to be no point to this game with where you are supposed to go. It also gives him the impression that snakes are a handy and efficient way to lower himself down to something. If this was such a great idea, how come firefighters use poles? Why dont they just use a damn snake?

-Candyland! Oh this game is fun! If it didnt make me so freaking hungry that i would binge myself on chocolate, candy, marshmallows and such, I could ignore the fact that it also encourages major caloric and trans fat intake. But it is so colourful! And *drool* full of sugary goodness........... Candyland was invented by dentists. The conspiracy will come out eventually.



*side note: My lovely and available friend jon has nicely turned me onto the definition of self actualization.
http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_actualization

It blathers on about psychology. In short it means to be cool with yourself. Like the Fonz. Isnt my explanation much easier to understand?