Oh yeah baby!

Got a very weird job that involves me being surrounded by a bunch of sweaty men, being bitten by black flies, and stuck in the middle of a forgettable province with a great-named capital city.

What is.......cooking for a geological expedition in northern saskatchewan for $600!

You would be correct if that was your answer, though i highly doubt it was.

I leave in 10 days and i will be gone for 6 weeks. So no blogging for awhile. *sigh* I know you shall all miss me.

Anyway, onto a very amusing conversation i had with my new guy. He attended a stag party this past saturday. It involved a bunch of guys playing paintball and then off to the strippers.

Well, my guy S, is used to strip joints where you keep your hands at your sides and you DO NOT touch the girls for fear of being made into one yourself by one of the many bouncer overlords watching. This place is different. Not only are you allowed to touch the girls during a lapdance but it is actually encouraged. God Bless Women's Lib!

Anyway, S said he missed me and kinda wished I was there as I am a pretty groovy chick. However alas, I was not (much to my dismay) and he decided to getnot one, but TWO lapdances by a stripper that apparently looked very much like me. S said this with a very earnest look on his face as if i was supposed to be complimented by his desire to remember me when in the face of bobby-peril.
I was torn between "Aw! Thats so sweet!" and "Wow. That is the creepiest thing i have ever heard". For the sake of our blossoming relationship, i decided to go with 'sweet'. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her titties, which i am happy to say are smaller than mine according to S. That makes me smile as I have always felt slightly underappreciated in that department. I blame the media.

After the second dance she asked him if he wanted to have some fun. He then perked up from his rye and ginger induced coma and proceeded to grill her. AS he has never encountered a prostitute before, this was fairly thrilling for him. I cannot blame him and it is one of the reaosns i like him so much. I woul dhave reacted in much the same way.

$100 for the room and $300 for the night. (She said she was worth it)
$200 if he wanted to orally make her happy
He did not inquire as to a blowjob.
See? This is why i like him too! He was more interested in her pleasure, even if she is a syphillis ridden mutant swamp donkey.

I aske dhim if he partaked in her 'bucket 'o' fun' and he said no. For 2 reasons:
1) He is with me! (Every girl reading this can sigh now)
and
2) He did not want to embarrass himself by showing off his body. Keep in mind he had gone paintballing with a bunch of drunken morons and he is undressing in front of me as he is saying this.
"M! Seriously! Look at these welts! Arent they gross? I would be way too ashamed to get naked in front of a stripper with these all over me! I mean, just look at this one! It's huge!"
I say nothing and let my expression do the implying.
"Oh shit. Um.....are you mad? Do you want a pudding? Or a drink?"
I couldnt control myself any longer. I burst out laughing and say that i am so happy that I was not important enough to worry about showing off his gross welts to. That a skeezy, slimy, moldy hooker should give him more concern than me.
That perhaps I am giving my milk away to freely (after all, dont we all look upon something offered as 'free' with a bit of distrust? Like "What could be wrong with it that it's free?). Perhaps i should be charging him also! I do not know if i am worth $300, she probably does weird german/japanese things i have never even heard about. She is a professional! She gets the quarterly magazine with all the tricks of the trade in it. I am just a poor sap who has been letting someone milk me for nothing.

Its really no wonder why I am such an awful business woman.