Isn't my bandwagon pretty?

Why doesn't everyone leave poor britney spears alone?
So she got all weird and shaved her head! Who hasn't done that after a night of drinking and a dare by your best friend that you could not possibly look good bald? With you replying "I look good with any haircut!" And then you wake up and realize that no, you do not look good bald, but what a great learning experience.
Who hasn't attacked their ex's car with an umbrella? She could have cut off his penis like one infamous lady did. Keep it in perspective!
And I know that everyone (don't lie) has attacked some papparazi and blamed it on a movie role. It's reminds me of the time I ran naked down the street shouting "The sky is falling!". I was trying to find my motivation for the acting job i would have to do pretending I liked my boyfriend's mother right before a family dinner.
And seriously people, who hasn't stolen $26 000 worth of clothes, shoes and jewellery? I just stole a ball-point pen from work. How is that not the same thing?

So before we all go getting on our high horses, lets look at ourselves. Let's ask oursleves who amoung us hasnt done something retardedly stupid and blamed it on someone else? We need to be more like Jesus here. We need to walk on some water and say "Throw a stone at me! I promise I won't throw one back! Here, have some bread and fish."