A typical Day

"Is your license sticker overdue?"
"Would you have pulled me over if it wasn't overdue?"
"Well....no"
"Well, then i guess it's overdue then isn't it Captian Obvious? Oh, I am sorry, Officer Obvious"
"May I see your driver's license, insurance and registration please?"
"Since you asked so nice I will let you see my insurance. And only my insurance. Because I was stupid enough to lose my license 2 weeks ago, never get it replaced and misplace my registration. But don't you feel lucky that I at least have insurance? Don't you feel safer?"
"Ma'am, do you have any picture ID at all?"
"No. Unless you count my Sin City VIP card"
"Ma'am, i have three tickets here for you now. These will all go away if you go to the Police Reporting place in the next 48 hours and show them all of this information. If not you must pay $330 and have sex with me. And my dad because he is lonely."
"But Officer! I don't have the sticker because I am broke! How can i come up with the money for it in the next 48 hours?"
"You look like a girl who has a useless baby daddy. And I imagine he is behind in child support. Why dont you try asking him for it. I am sure he will help you out. Since he is probably a fine and upstanding citizen who has his plate stickers renewed on-time."
"Okay Officer. I shall do so. Thank you for being so wonderful and protecting the dirty streets of London from the likes of me. A poor single mother who goes to school and works and who let her plate sticker lapse for 6 FUCKING DAYS. I appreciate it. I may have done something crazy like rape a stranger or commit robbery. Or burn a baby. Or dismember someone. Or dismember a burning baby who i am in the middle of robbing. But the world is so much safer now that you have given me these three tickets"


*disclaimer: The aformentioned incident may not have happened exactly as the author describes. She may have actually cried. And wet herself.