K Srsly.

Jon and I went shopping at the mall last night. I owe Moody O'Selfish quite a bit of money but after having an internal dialogue, decided to instead, spend said money on new clothes. Screw him, he called me a whore.
Anyway, Jon was desparately hungry so our first stop was the E.coli rodeo, I mean the food court. We sit down to eat and HOLY SHIT! There are EMT's everywhere! And a stretcher! And security guards!! What the hell is going on? Has there been a shooting? A heart attack? Is a lady giving birth RIGHT HERE? Is someone bleeding profusely everywhere?
No.
A lady is hyper-ventilating.
In the word's of the immortal LOL cats....srsly.
The King EMT tells her she had an anxiety attack.
Here are my thoughts on this:
-If there is ever a place to have an anxiety attack, it should be in the most pubic place you can find so as the most amount of people staring at you will be achieved.
-You should exaggerate everything in the hopes that maybe you will get a free Orange Julius out of it
-Make everything seem worse to maximize the potential of the story to your friends and family.