potpourri # purple monkey canteloup

-Urgent Care centre should be called :"Please give me pain medication even though I am perfectly fine!" or "I am a welfare mom and need to have someone pay attention to meeeeeeee" or "There is nothing wrong with me other than being a huge hypochondriac. Does this look infected to you?"
Though in retrospect, those titles are probably too long.
-My "fuck off" bubble which I have PERFECTED over the years to deter people from trying to talk to me, is somehow being counter-acted by the metal in my crutches. (Not having taken chemistry ever, I can only suppose at this. It seems a valid hypothesis though). Perfect strangers feel the need and the right to ask me what happened to my knee. I have a stock response of :"There were ninjas. Long story short, Herpes suck." This generally makes them leave me alone.
The other annoyance I am getting is people making random comments about my injury. If I hear "I wonder what the other guy looks like!"* one more time, I am seriously going to break out of this PC mentality and retort all sad-eyed :"I wouldnt know. I was mugged and this is one of the injuries I was left with. But thank you for your concern."
-People are rude assholes and wont hold a damn door open for me. I KNOW they see me. THEY know I know they see me. And yet they pretend they don't so they won't have to hold the door open for 3 freaking seconds. These people make Jesus cry I swear to God.
-If you are fat, stop buying clothes sizes smaller than what you are! I am left with no clothes to choose from and you end up looking like a German sausage. That is not attractive. Fat rolls are not attractive. I don't care if your friends and family said you look great. They are a bunch of festering lying douchebags. They laugh at you behind your back and call you names. It makes them feel better that you are fat and dressing like a dumbass. Is that what you want? To make everyone else feel better?
I thought not.

*Ohh and they say it like no one has ever come up with that before. So witty. So.....witty.